I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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