After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
