She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
