I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
