Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
