my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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