the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
