This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
