i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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