Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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