We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
