Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
