I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
