threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
