It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did i walk over a car last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
