Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
