I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
