I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Shame - the story of my life.
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