Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
