At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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