we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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