So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
