her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
