no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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