I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I didn't notice because vodka
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
