just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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