Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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