dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
