I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
