Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
