Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
