her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
