there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
