He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
