HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
