Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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