then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
