I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
