dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
