I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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