My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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