Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
