I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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