DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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