What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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