Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This baby is an asshole
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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