Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
