Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
