I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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