the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
