I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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