So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
