My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
