They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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