he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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