i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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