Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
